Category: Joke Board
- An Obituary purported to have been printed in the London Times
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn't always fair;
- and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place: Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sunscreen or an Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death - by his parents, Truth and Trust;
- by his wife, Discretion;
- by his daughter, Responsibility and
- by his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers: - I Know My Rights
- I Want It Now
- Someone Else Is To Blame
- I am a Victim
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
If you still remember him, pass this on.
..musta been way before my time!
lol ~Good One Becky~
Sad but true... Thanks for posting.
Saw this first in 1996, went with the Bob Dole campaign, came up again during the Kenneth Starr / Monica Lewinsky deal in 1998. So, here it is again.
At least with this Internet forward there's no picture of a baby attached which contained underlying vbs to harvest your address book. I doubt it came from the London Times, as the politics spoken of / embraced / alluded to are uniquely American. It's even referenced on Snopes, not as a hoax as it doesn't report anything, but as a forward.
Yes, I've seen it before too, but it still applies. I see more stupidity in the news every day, and common sense does indeed appear to be dead.
Common Sense has been dead for years if not decades as far as I'm concerned.
It is also a phrase thrown around to say, "Why don't you do / think / process / solve problems the way I do?" It is a cliche more than an actual reality. Common sense to a sixteen-year-old isn't, or shouldn't be, common sense to a 39-year-old.
And you can see two sides of an argument, both arguing "common sense". In truth it never lived. Will it die? I doubt it: cliches are far too convenient to just retire them. That, were I to venture a guess, could be claimed to be "common sense".